Written on the 4th of Jul 2010:
Isn’t it strange how you learn from past experiences and you use every last part of that experience to build who you are and what you stand for.
Trust is a large part of this for me and each time I have been betrayed I have picked myself up and vowed never to be hurt again. I also learnt that I can’t paint anyone with the same brush and that some people share this same feeling of its importance. Its not something you only have in a relationship its all around us in every person we allow to enter into our lives. Its tough because you end up building walls to protect yourself and that stops things from developing.
Trust is not easily given and its very scary how in one small act all that effort and work is lost and that person whom you learned to trust disappears from your life and you move on. Its always easy to say you trust someone but when you have been betrayed by someone you see cracks of their guilt and how it split open and you try cover your cracks…
Honesty builds trust and allows you to understand the people you walk with in life and it opens up communication and sharing beyond that of what you would with a stranger. We all say we are honest but deep down we know there are some things we feel we can’t say to protect yourself, the person or the incident and that is so bad. I strive to be honest with each person and no I am not proffessing to be a perfectionist but being real about who I am and how honesty is a foundation I for me in all I do. I say what I feel and should I not say it, it is felt. I too stumble on some moral high ground not being able to say everything I am thinking because I care for people. But is this right? Should one ever feel they cannot be honest without losing someone? Am I being honest then? Can I trust myself? And others?
The thoughts run through your head on should I do what I think is right or not? Does this affect me directly, and if it does how do I deal with it?
People are complex and I don’t think we as humans will always understand how we operate and what is the truth from a lie when we all can be so convincing in our arguments of who we are and what we stand for.
To those that read this let’s try and be honest with someone and share with them, that you may grow personally and the trust in your friendship/relationship may prosper beyond all realms:) Try with all you have in you to give each person a chance and not be so guarded against trying to trust someone or open up to them.